Friday, March 14, 2008

The Blasphemy Collection


From an article published back in October 2007:

"The concept of blasphemy seemed for some decades to be in decline in the West, but not any more. It may be useful to look back at some recent cases of militantly religious outrage..."

I wonder how she defines "the West?" I mean, I live in Canada, which is vaguely understood (or so I understand) to be located somewhere in the vicinity of something called "the West." And the concept of blasphemy is not in decline. It's a complete fiction.

As in: it doesn't exist.

Oh, there are vague ramblings and mutterings here and there, but nothing concrete and enforceable on the books (and note that that last link has to do with something called "blasphemous libel" -- whatever the hell that is -- and not blasphemy, itself).

I noticed, too, that one of the definitions of blasphemy is to "claim the attributes of a diety".

Well, Hel's Belles (that' all-girl backup singing group from Tromso, in case anyone asks, 'kay?) fellow babies! it looks like I might be the very model of a modern major general blasphemer, according to that definition! After all, my religion says that I am god. And that would mean anyone who disputes my claim to godhood would be violating another definition of blasphemy by showing contempt for my dietyship (yes it's a word. Because god says so).

But anyway, back to the article...which lists the Top Twenty examples of blasphemy in the modern world (although something about using the words "blasphemy" and "modern" in the same thought strikes me as being completely Hrarf-Hrarfian) according to someone. She lists the incidents in order of severity, by following a list of standards:

"Vulgarity –the piece shocked through its conflation of the sacred and the profane

Criminality –the piece contravened laws in a given country

Religious impact –the work caused outrage from religious leaders

Political impact –speeches were made by governments, laws were created or changed.

Deaths – outrage at the work led to the death of one or more people"

Now, the only criterion on that list that I take seriously is the deaths caused by homicidal lunatics who were using "offended sensibilities" as an excuse to kill members of their own species -- just because they refuse to become homicidal lunatics. If that ain't blasphemy, then nothing is.

Anyway, it occurred to me that there are probably some items missing from this list. Some that are here oughta be moved out to make room for others that are more deserving.

Nominations are now open.

(I was originally led in this general direction by Bruce, and then I got sidetracked. Don't blame Bruce. I'm easily sidetracked.)


Blogger Karen said...

Are you a Discordian? In the Discoridan world, I am the Most Exalted Fancy Pope Cait the Deodorized, Empress of the Back Porch and the Universal Joint, KSC, BBC, SL, PD, DIY, GoD. For short, you may address me as "Your Fabulousness".

Saturday, March 15, 2008 5:37:00 AM  
Blogger Chimera said...

Alas, Your Fabulousness, no. I have not the privilege to be a member of your esteemed culture. Sounds like a hoot when you're stoned, though.

And I'll just bet all those letters have meanings. Care to enlighten us, oh sweet-smelling one?

Saturday, March 15, 2008 12:03:00 PM  
Blogger dez said...

Among Satanists, blasphemy is not just a good idea, its a requirement.

I try to blaspheme at least once a day. I would blaspheme more, but then it becomes work, which gets in the way of my slothing.

Did you know some people consider St. Patrick's Day a religious holiday? I had no idea. I always thought of it as a day to get drunk and wear green. Fighting optional.

Blasphemy, when it comes right down to it, is humor. Can humor kill people? No. It's the wingnuts that can't take a joke that kill people.

Monday, March 17, 2008 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

I beg your pardon, fighting is NOT optional. Neither is crying. No self-respecting Irishman would ever get drunk and not have a good round of fisticuffs and a nice maudlin tear-soak.

The letters:
KSC Keeper of the Sacred Chaos
BBC Barry Bittwister Cabal
SL Shaved Legs
PD Police Dept.
DIY just what it usually stands for
GoD Doctor of Goofiness

The "Fancy" in front of my name is a title given only after a ritual is performed to make one aware of their volatile oils.

The Ritual:
To obtain the title of Fancy, simply complete the following ritual: The Leader (Episkopos, Cabal Poobah, family goldfish) intones, “There’s SOMEONE around here who just isn’t FANCY!”

The Crowd (everyone else except the Leader and the Mundane (non-Fancy person) express dismay and alarm. The Mundane waves a hand around. “It’s me! It’s me! O woe O woe It’s me!”

The Leader intones, “Do you want to be FANCY?”

The Mundane answers, “I do!” /

The Leader intones, “Are you aware of your VOLATILE OILS?”

The Mundane replies, “Huh?”

The Leader intones, “Have you come from the place you’ve come from?”

The Mundane replies, “Sure!”

The Leader then shouts, “Then take the oath!”

The Crowd begins to chant, “Fan-cy! Fan-cy! Fan-cy!”

The Mundane places five caraway seeds in the palm of her or his hand, and makes a fist, and holds it aloft. The Mundane speaks, “Umbelliferae! Mertaceae! Labiatae! Upon these seeds do I swear, that I will always be aware of my volatile oils! That I will relish them and revel in them! That I will respect them and revere them! And that I will rule over them! And I always promise that no matter where I go, I will always come from the place that I came from! So there!” The Mundane swallows the seeds.

The Crowd goes nuts with their approval.

The Leader intones, “Damn, but now you are FANCY!” The ceremony concludes in the usual manner.

If you're actually interested, the best way to learn about Discordianism is The Principia Discordia<

There are a few truisms, though about Discordianism.

It's the religion of anti-religion.
Everyone is Discordian, except perhaps cabbages, and there is even debate about that.
Discordians have 5 fingers on one hand.
Discordianism is like Taoism, but funnier.
It's a neophilic religion, but not militantly so.
Everyone is a Pope in Discordianism.

That clears it all up, doesn't it.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008 8:31:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home