Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Guest Post: Alex Thomas

Alex Thomas does not have his own blog. He needs one. He's a frequent commenter over at Garth's place, where he engages in some verbal thrust-and-parry with some of the other regulars. And he frequently comes up with some pithy bon mots that nail a subject firmly to the nearest wall.

He recently sent me a collection of quotable quotes. Some of them are original to him and others can be attributed to such philosophers as Frank Zappa, George Carlin, and Bill Maher. Whoever said them first, they are worth reading. And repeating.

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. The difference: there is a limit to the amount of hydrogen.

If the news only reported when politicians told the truth, it would be the only thing in the news – apart from Hell freezing over.

Would you trust someone who would never trust you? Then, why would you vote for them? Would you personally trust someone, with your money, who consistently gets it all wrong? Then, why would you vote for them?

When the government can’t do something that anyone in a rented rancher can do, such as raise marijuana for sale, what else can’t government do?

How dumb do you have to be to be President or Prime Minister? Is it worth it, being that dumb?

The people who do not vote, but still pay taxes, should be the ONLY ones who get to complain. After all, it’s not THEIR fault that Rain Man is running the show.

Anybody who displays political ambition at any level, to any degree, should be given one chance to become a productive member of society, such as a pimp, a drug dealer or a loan shark. Then, and only then, should they be allowed to settle for politics. After all, if you can’t sell sex, drugs or money, what good are you?

It is not power which corrupts, any more than money is the root of all evil. It is the lust for power which corrupts. Anyone who lusts for power is already corrupt, and should not be trusted with anything more complex to operate than a push mower.

What makes any government think it is entitled to your hard-earned money? What exactly did they do for it? What value did they provide in exchange? Just the fact that they did not throw you in jail makes them no better than anyone else running a protection racket on the street.

Save a tree. Plant a politician. Works for me.

People should not complain that politicians lie to them. It is, after all, part of the job description. The people have only themselves to blame for believing the liars.

Politicians are ample evidence that evolution does not always result in progress.

If you’re looking for an easy job, become a stockbroker, a weatherman or a politician. You can get it wrong ninety percent of the time, and nobody will have the heart to fire you. Unless they put you on YouTube. Then, all bets are off.

With all respect to Mr. Lincoln, it is, always has been, and always will be, government over the people, against the people and in spite of the people. Keep that in mind next time they come knocking on your door for your support.

Is it just me, or is it getting paranoid in here?

If you have money in your pocket the day before payday, and you owe somebody else money, that money in your pocket does not belong to you. It’s not a surplus until the debts are paid.

How do you spell politician? P-a-r-a-s-i-t-e.

Politicians have to be slimy. Going through life on your belly requires a fair amount of lubrication.

Thank you, Alex. Now, you really need your own blog.


Blogger Dez said...

I can only find fault in two of the statements, the rest are perfect.

"The people who do not vote, but still pay taxes, should be the ONLY ones who get to complain. After all, it’s not THEIR fault that Rain Man is running the show."

Wrong. If you didn't vote, then whining about the results afterwards makes you an asshole. Maybe if you DID vote, we wouldn't have Rain Man as President.

"What makes any government think it is entitled to your hard-earned money? What exactly did they do for it? What value did they provide in exchange? Just the fact that they did not throw you in jail makes them no better than anyone else running a protection racket on the street."

How much did you pay for that road you drive to work on? How come the food you eat doesn't make you sick all the time? Why isn't your aspirin laced with something poisonous? AND SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY WE DON'T SPEAK RUSSIAN!

I don't agree with everything we pay taxes for, but I know my money pays for stuff I use.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007 11:33:00 AM  
Blogger Chimera said...

And this is why Alex needs his own he can answer things like this. I think I know what he meant in both cases, but it's not up to me to explain them...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007 12:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Alex Thomas said...

I remember voting. I remember working my tuchis off for a politician, a sitting member whose philiosophy I admired. Then his party formed the government. Dr. Jekyll, meet Mr. Hyde. Lesson learned.
What makes you think that government CARES if the road is kept in good shape, if your food does NOT make you sick, if your aspirin is NOT laced with poison? NONE of those things MATTER to government. NONE of those things matter, until massive outcry and threats of lynching INSPIRE government to do SOMETHING that gives the APPEARANCE of caring.
If it takes the threat of firing to make people care about their jobs, if it takes the threat of punishment to make people lead lawful lives, then we, the people, are getting the government we deserve. The government then truly represents us, as we are. We have met the enemy -- in the mirror.
The best government is the least government. To quote Mark Twain: "Death does not get any worse when Congress is in sessiuon." Ah, but there are worse things than death.

Thursday, November 08, 2007 9:03:00 AM  
Blogger Dez said...

Sorry, Chimera. This might take awhile.

Alex, I get it. I thought you were saying that the government wasn't doing anything. What you really mean is the government is doing its job badly. I agree with that completely, but I never expected anything different.

In the private sector, people work hard at their jobs because they hope to make more money (or they just have a terrific work ethic - not many of those anymore). Government employees have no such hope. They make the same whether they work hard or just skate by. In that sense, working for the government is a lot like working in a communist country. They have no incentive to do a good job.

Also, working in government provides a level of power rarely achieved in the private sector. Human nature being what it is, the more power we have, the stronger the temptation to abuse it.

So, it would appear that the best candidates to elect would be ones with a strong work ethic and moral character, right? The problem is that politicians are like salesmen and actors - professional liars. Honest folks just don't go into politics, as a rule.

The work of government still needs to be done by somebody, badly or not. So, if the only incentive is the threat of law, or just to take their power-laden jobs from them, then we need to keep those threats alive and potent. Keep watching over their shoulders and criticizing everything they do. Yes, that is a sucky job environment, but the price of power must be paid.

The alternative is to chuck it all and put up something better.

As Churchill said: "Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those others that have been tried from time to time."

A lot of people have ideas for how to build a better government. Most of them seem to be based on "first, we need to find better people to run things", or something similar.

Sorry, but all we have to work with are human beings. Flawed, corruptible, and weak of character. People in power need constant oversight, because they are people.

You want a better government? Keep doing what you're doing - criticize them. Point out the mistakes, flaws and outright dishonesty every time. Say it loud. Carry picket signs on the sidewalks and shout from the streetcorners. Or, do what Chimera and I do - write a blog.

What is one small voice in the wilderness? Not a damn thing. But, you get enough voices, and you can make a loud enough noise to be heard.

I also vote. I'm an optimist that way.

Thursday, November 08, 2007 11:32:00 AM  
Blogger Chimera said...

"Sorry, Chimera. This might take awhile."

Not a problem, Dez. Maybe between us, we can convince Alex to start his own blog...

Thursday, November 08, 2007 2:36:00 PM  

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