Doan Go There!

Will somebody please tell our federal politicians-cum-smokechasers that they need to keep their minds on governing the country rather than trying to meddle in the non-governmental affairs of athletes?

Not only does this phony "issue" not belong in the HoC, but I've looked into this, myself, when it was first "reported" (quote marks denoting a nasty taste in the mouth for having to use these particular words). I was satisfied that he never said what someone thought he said.

See, I've been there.

Years ago, walking down the street in downtown Vancouver, I was approached by a flower child (I did say it was years ago, right?) who was passing out candy to all and sundry. No money involved, she was just happily skipping (!) down the city street, giving candy to perfect strangers.

I have issues with candy. I don't like too much sugar because it makes me feel nauseous. So when she got to me, I shook my head and said, "Not for me, thanks."

Could be I mumbled, and she didn't hear me correctly, because all of a sudden this flower child morphed into a screaming harpy.

"Not from me, eh!" she screamed. And I mean screamed. Her voice coulda shattered windows for blocks. "You think I don't wash? You think I'm dirty? You think I'm not fit to walk on your streets?" And other words to that effect.

I was not only taken aback, I was horrified. I had said, "Not for me," but she had apparently heard, "Not from you." I tried to correct her impression that she had heard me wrong, but she musta gotten up on the wrong side of her bed of roses that morning, and she refused to let me get a word in. Not only that, but when I gave up trying to fix a bad situation, and tried to walk away, she followed me down the street, screaming at me for two blocks.

It was embarrassing. Not fatally so, and I took a lot of comfort in the knowledge that I had been wrongly accused. Still, I could feel my face, neck, and ears burning for hours afterwards, every time I thought about it.

I think Shane Doan is being wrongly accused. Again. And I think he's being used as a tool to try and keep the government off balance.

If I were him, I'd be launching a lawsuit against more assholes than just Denis Coderre. I'd also be lining up the entire gamut of opposition MPs -- who are involving themselves in this taxpayer-funded game of cat-herding -- against a wall with their mouths wired open. Then I'd start practising my slap shot.

(H/T Andrew)

AFTERTHOUGHT: Shane Doan is being vilified in the HoC by MPs who are looking for any excuse to assume the role of "poor victim" of "slurs" (note that all of them defend mightily their protected privilege to cast whatever slurs they wish upon anyone they wish, as long as they stay within the confines of the House).

He's captaining Canada's international hockey team. He has already been cleared of any taint of wrongdoing. Criticism of this type from politicians could be construed as trying to undermine Canada's hockey team against all other hockey teams.

So, I have two questions.

1. Since the government has taken the steps of striking a committee to call Hockey Canada to account, I take it to mean that this has to do with National Security. After all, the team is over there in Russia, right? So...can it be that those MPs who are making these noisy and erroneous accusations are actually trying to undermine Canada's National Security? Should we be pointing fingers at them and calling them (the MPs, not the players) treasonous traitors?

And yes, I know "treasonous traitors" is redundant. But then, so are a lot of MPs.

2. If it's not about National Security, then who is going to lose a pile o' money because he bet on the opposition, and he's tryin' ta force Canada's team to lose not only focus, but the championship?

Kinda makes ya go hmmmmmmmm...