Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Making Policy?

If I'm gonna be a Cabinet Minister, specifically the Minister for Citizenship and Immigration, I'd better start drafting some policies, eh?

Let's start with Citizenship. Dual citizenship in particular.

There's been a lot of talk lately -- especially in light of the rescue of "refugee citizens" from Lebanon -- about doing away with dual citizenship. I wouldn't do away with it entirely, but I would put some guidelines in place. Enforced guidelines.

As far as I know, there are three ways (well, two ways; but one of them has a part A and a part B) to get Canadian citizenship: A. You are born in Canada and your parents are Canadian; B. You are born in Canada and your parents are not Canadian (students, visitors, landed immigrants but not yet citizens, and military TDs from allied countries); C. You are an immigrant, and you apply for and get your citizenship papers.

It's the last one that interests me right now. Because a lot of those "refugee citizens" that were rescued on the taxpayers' wallet had not set foot in Canada for years!

So, under the new regime, here are da rules (in plain English -- a language you will learn before you become a citizen, thankyouverymuch):

1. Once you have won your citizenship, you must live the majority of the taxation year inside the borders of Canada or on a Canadian military base in another country. For the purposes of these rules, Canadian embassies in other countries are considered to be inside the borders of Canada.

2. You calculate the term "majority of the taxation year" to be 50% plus one days in that year.

3. No, you may not save up and carry over to another year. This is not unionized sick leave.

4. Unless your former country requires you to do so, you are not required to give up your first citizenship in order to win Canadian citizenship. However, all your identification, including your passport, will designate you only as a Canadian citizen.

5. I repeat -- only one passport, and that one must be Canadian. No dual passports will be permitted. If you are caught with dual passports, it will be assumed that you wish to relinquish your Canadian passport -- and the citizenship along with it.

6. You will maintain a residence in Canada, and it will have a street address. You will not make use of Mailboxes Etcetera's cute little scheme of pretending that the box number is the apartment number. The only exception to this rule is if you are in the Canadian military, posted outside the country. You will then have a Canadian military address.

7. If you think that you need to be resident outside the country for the majority of the taxation year, and you still wish to retain your Canadian citizenship, you will submit for approval, in writing, to the Ministry. Some obvious reasons for seeking such approval may be business or scholastic. Each request will be dealt with on an individual basis, and on its own merits. There will be no rubber stamps.

8. Some people work on the premise that it is easier (and faster) to obtain forgiveness than permission. Not in my Ministy! When in doubt, apply for approval.

9. All decisions regarding approval or denial of exceptions are final. You may appeal through your MP if you don't like the "No," but don't count on it's having any effect.

10. Immediately after you have spent the majority of the taxable year outside the boundaries of Canada without specific approval from the Ministry, your Canadian citizenship will be rescinded. Your country of origin will then be notified that they must welcome you back home.

11. Once Canadian citizenship is withdrawn, it will never again be awarded.

How'm I doin' so far?


Daz points out in the comments: "Like the policy so far. I might put an emergency clause in place though. For instance on #10, what happens if your unexpectedly delayed in getting out of the country due to a lengthy illness or likewise? At this point, #7 may not be feasable, or even possible. "

I did a little reading on his blog (your turn -- go, read), and like me, daz is a Canucks fan, so he's used to thinking ahead about the next disaster to come down the road. So...

12. In the event that a natural disaster (fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, tsunami, airplane hijacking, etc) prevents you from returning to Canadian territory in time to fulfull your taxation year obligations as a naturalized citizen, you will report to the nearest Canadian embassy as soon as possible with documentation of the disaster in question and proof of your involuntary involvement. This may involve submitting sworn statements from witnesses who must provide full contact information for purposes of verification. Each case so submitted will be investigated and decided on its own merits.

Other useful suggestions may be added as they are submitted...


Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE new blogroll

I am keeping the old blogroll and also making one that lists atheist and agnostic bloggers.

So, you will still have a link in my original blogroll. I just felt the need to make a separate blogroll for those "evil heretics of disbelief". ;)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:26:00 PM  
Blogger Chimera said...

LOL! Okay! If you're blogrolling heretics, I guess I qualify!

According to all the fundies, anyway... ;D

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:43:00 PM  
Blogger Daz said...

Like the policy so far. I might put an emergency clause in place though. For instance on #10, what happens if your unexpectedly delayed in getting out of the country due to a lengthy illness or likewise? At this point, #7 may not be feasable, or even possible.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:08:00 PM  
Blogger Chimera said...

That's an excellent point, daz -- thanks. Would you like a job in my bureaucracy? It doesn't pay much, but the appointment is for life unless you choose to resign... ;P

Wednesday, August 30, 2006 8:53:00 AM  
Anonymous DazzlinDino said...

Hey....nice piece of work there my freind, I like the "dual passport" part and citizenship. Your a tough dude on this one. I wonder what our number of refugees from Lebanon would have been if this was in place?

Friday, September 01, 2006 5:55:00 AM  
Blogger Chimera said...

Thank you, kind sir. I think the number of refugees would have been a very small percentage of the total had we had this as official policy.

I keep thinking that Canada has been trying for the last sixty-odd years to make up for the fact that we refused to allow Jewish refugees in from Europe during Hitler's reign of terror. The official policy at the time was "We don't want to be involved." My, how things have changed...

Friday, September 01, 2006 9:51:00 AM  
Blogger Daz said...

Hmm, a civil service job? I don't know about that.

I'll need time off before (and probably the morning afterwards) each and every Canucks game though.

Sunday, September 03, 2006 7:54:00 AM  
Blogger Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

There could also be other factors like having a sick relative in the old country that needs the help of a new immigrant.

But I think you need to include a 10 year probation period whereby any serious criminal act will result in immediate deportation.

Serious acts: conspiracy to commit a terrorist act, murder, hate crimes, and lets add money laundering.

Sunday, September 03, 2006 8:45:00 AM  

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