Wednesday, February 01, 2006

How Dare Gay People Want To Get Married?

It doesn't seem like the anti-gay crowd is going to admit defeat very soon when it comes to same-sex marriage. Despite that several provinces decided on their own to legalize same-sex marriage before the Supreme Court and Parliament got into the act and made it a country-wide decision (and as far as I know, the only possible hold-out province in the country was going to be Alberta -- maybe), the gay-bashers are on the howl again to reverse a constitutional right to live your life free from discrimination.

There is, if you want to spend a couple hours watching a game of logic ping-pong (get yourself a neck brace, first -- I warn ya!) a bubbling cauldron over at The Shotgun. Feel free to stir it around a little -- I don't think it's quite done, yet. Man, some of those gay-bashers are nasty!

Now, I like a good debate as much as most intelligent people, I guess. But some of those gay bashers in the midst of the Shotgun thingie seem to be running out of steam. They are losing the fight, valiant though it is. So, in the spirit of good competition and fair play, I've decided to help them out. The points posted below are "borrowed" gleefully from Ampersand, who "borrowed" them from someone else:

Ten Reasons Gay Marriage Is Wrong

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Canadians have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in Canada.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

I edited one word twice: I changed "America" to "Canada." That was so our Canadian gay-bashers would feel at home and all righteous-like.

So there ya go, people! Feel free to "borrow" any or all of these excellent points when you thump your manly-man chests or shrill your girly-girl voices against this dread social disease that is threatening to take over our country:



Blogger Jamie said...

I'm rolling on the floor - brilliant piece! So sad to think there are people who actually do think that way...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 12:08:00 PM  
Blogger Chimera said...

Yup, it's brilliant -- which is why I "borrowed" it.

But you know what the saddest part is? As one commenter on Ampersand's site said, there will be people who read this and nod their heads in agreement with every point on the list!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 1:10:00 PM  
Blogger DazzlinDino said...

Since I've been on the web, I've come to know you and Rick fairly well.......does that mean you are trying to entice me to join the ranks of the unholy??????

Is this some kind of "hidden agenda" you guys have...

Come on man...give it to me straight....I mean.....well....

I did the gay-o-meter test on Ricks site one day, and found out I was almost 30% gay.....Rick told me to calm down and buy a Cher CD and open a bottle of wine....I almost pissed myself laughing.

Live your life the way you want bro, I'll back you on that one....

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 8:57:00 PM  
Blogger Chimera said...

Gay-o-meter? Did I miss out on some fun? Gonna hafta go look it up...(I love Cher's voice)!

Sadly, though, with this list, I think I must be one of the exceptions to the rule. I've been around gay people for most of my life, and I haven't "caught" it yet. And now that I think about it, I'm not any taller, either... What's wrong with me? 8=D

Thursday, February 02, 2006 10:22:00 AM  

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