Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Classes For Men

From my e-mail:
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, January 23, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step By Step, With Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat And Avoiding The Floor, Walls And Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper And The Floor --- Pictures And Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 week
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate And Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support And Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting, Looking In The Right Places, And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics And Audio Tapes.
Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother And Wife.
Online Classes And Role-Playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.
Class 12
How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation And Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries And Other Important Dates And Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is And How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Ian Scott said...

I got one of those emails from one of my lady friends about a week ago.

I thought it was .. funny, of course :)

Thursday, February 02, 2006 10:30:00 PM  
Blogger Dez said...

Who's teaching the class?

If its a guy, what does he know about it?

If its a chick, is she pretty?

Seriously - male bashing always seems to be good for a laugh. Right?

Monday, February 06, 2006 11:47:00 PM  

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