Classes For Men

From my e-mail:

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT

THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, January 23, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step By Step, With Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat And Avoiding The Floor, Walls And Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper And The Floor --- Pictures And Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 week

Class 5

After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate And Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 6

Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

Help Line Support And Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things --- Starting, Looking In The Right Places, And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum.

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

Graphics And Audio Tapes.

Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother And Wife.

Online Classes And Role-Playing.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12

How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion

Relaxation Exercises, Meditation And Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries And Other Important Dates And Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven --- What It Is And How It Is Used.

Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,

diplomas will be issued to the survivors.