Sunday, December 11, 2005

What I Think of the Proposed Handgun Ban

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!

Follow a tale of two cities...

...a few easy-to-read statistics...

...and some encapsulated news items.

If the above links aren't convincing, let's go pure fantasy:

I am a citizen, and you are a burglar (we're really fantasizing here, guys -- I know that none of you reading this are burglars. But just in case, keep reading). You have decided to target my house for your next "shopping" spree.

At the last moment, you find out that I have a loaded weapon in my possession, and that I know how to use it.

You gonna change your mind about robbing my house? No?

How about that you also find out that I am willing to use the weapon should you decide to enter my house illegally. Are we still on?

Let me just add this... If I shoot and kill you in defense of my home and person and my family, I will probably be arrested and go to jail for a couple of years. Where will you be? Did I tell you that I'm an expert marksman? I don't miss my target.

A couple years in jail versus being killed by you makes a good trade as far as I'm concerned. I'll take the jail time. And, knowing the "justice" system in Canada, I probably won't even spend that long there.

First offense, upstanding and (until now) law-abiding citizen, time served waiting trial -- oh, yeah...I can see me spending not much time behind bars at all.

Because I'm not going to avail myself of bail. My family is smart, and can fend for themselves for a couple of years until I get to trial. We're not rich, but we're okay. And where I live, there are conjugal visits.

And the taxpayer is going to be footing the bill for a couple of personal medical thingies that I'd like to have done. And I go to the head of the line, being in jail and all. Your family is paying my bills. Ironic, isn't it?

I can also upgrade my education and maybe get some trades training in areas that are reserved for guests of the Crown, so that when I get out, I'll be getting an even better job than I had before.

And where are you? Still dead, with no hope of coming back to life. Your family is still blaming everyone but you and themselves, and/or wondering what went wrong.

Me? I'm now "rehabilitated," and reunited with my family, enjoying my life with renewed health and vigor.

Thank you for playing.

Next fantasy...

2 Comments:

Blogger DazzlinDino said...

Good post, except you left out the part about him not going to jail if he shoots you first, but you going for two years for self defense....lol

Monday, December 12, 2005 10:11:00 PM  
Blogger Chimera said...

I wasn't planning on letting him live long enough to shoot me first.

8=D

Monday, December 12, 2005 11:09:00 PM  

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