Clone, Clone of My Own

It was mumblety-mumble years ago that I read an article on cloning by Isaac Asimov. In the scope of the article (and where the entire thing went, I have no idea), he got a little tongue-in-cheek, and amid all the scientific stuff was a lyric that could be sung to "Home On the Range."

Clone of My Own

The first verse and chorus are by science fiction writer Randall Garrett. The other verses are by Isaac Asimov.

Oh, give me a clone

Of my own flesh and bone

With its Y-chromosome changed to X

And when it is grown

Then my own little clone

Will be of the opposite sex.

(Chorus)

Clone, clone of my own,

With your Y-Chromosome changed to X

And when I'm alone

With my own little clone

We will both think of nothing but sex.

Oh, give me a clone

In my sorrowful moan

A clone that is wholly my own.

And if she's an X

Of the feminine sex

Oh, what fun we will have when we're prone.

My heart's not of stone,

As I've frequently shown

When alone with my own little X

And after we've dined

I am sure we will find

Better incest than Oedipus Rex.

Why should such sex vex

Or disturb or perplex

Or induce a disparaging tone.

After all, don't you see

Since we're both of us me

When we're having sex, I'm alone.

And after I'm done

She will still have her fun

For I'll clone myself twice ere I die.

And this time without fail,

They'll be both of them male

And they'll ravage her by and by.

(My note: I'm wondering if that last line should read, "And they'll both ravish her by and by." But I hate to second-guess the Good Doctor.)

I think it was The Great Bird of the Galaxy who said that if one man could imagine something, another man could build it (and you politically correct types can stop before you start -- he said "man" and I am not going to retro-fit the language to suit you. So there!). Soooooo...flash forward a few decades, and we now have news items like this one:

Some Sex With Your Clone Perhaps?

Two amateur documentary makers say they've infiltrated the UFO cloning sect known as the Raelians and come away with candid videos they hope will further tarnish the group's reputation and even help shut it down.

The Raelians are no strangers to bad press: Brigitte Boisselier, a Raelian bishop and biochemist, created a media furor in December 2002 when she announced the world's first successful cloning of a human. But her credibility, as well as the Raelians', was questioned when she never produced "baby Eve" or 12 other purported clones.

Now, rare video footage of the group taken at one of its Las Vegas seminars has been spun into an as-yet-unreleased documentary that brings a fresh, critical slant to the Raelians -- replete with allegations that the sect uses sex as a recruitment tool, targeting people most likely to sympathize with its message that aliens populated the world: "Trekkies and whatnot," explained Abdullah Hashem, who taped the group in May as part of a broader, personal investigation of the group.

"There are a lot of people (at these seminars) who believe in aliens, and all these beautiful women who will have sex with you even though you're a dork," he said. "And that's why most people were there."

(Read entire articles here)